This is where we keep our archived polls.
Is the photo of Fidel Castro and Argentina’s president Cristina Fernandez real or fake?
- It's real.
- It's phonier than a three-dollar bill.
- It's real but that's Castro after a visit to the taxidermist.
Will Cuba finally be free in 2009?
- Not until the Castro brothers give up power--and hell will freeze over before that happens
- Yes
- No
How long before Cuba becomes free under a Barack Obama presidency?
- Hell will freeze over first
- Just as soon as the Obamessiah drops the embargo against the Castro brothers
- After he loses the 2012 election
- Right after his inauguration
Now that Barack Obama won the election, how long do you think it will take before the Castro bros. pull another "Mariel" on him?
- One year
- Two years
- Four years
- Three years
Who will Fidel Castro vote for president?
- Barack Obama--ACORN has already registered Castro to vote in seven states
- John McCain
What's the worst hurricane ever to hit Cuba?
- Hurricane Castro - 1959 to present, thousands dead, untold destruction, millions suffering, still going on
- 1932 hurricane - 2,800+ dead
- 1944 hurricane - 300+ dead
- Hurricane Gustave (2008) - deaths unknown
- Hurricane Flora (1963) - 1,000+ dead
How many Cuban athletes will win medals at the Beijing Olympics?
- None, they're all going to defect first
- 10
- 20
- 50
Who was REALLY in that Fidel Castro video released in June?
- Fidel himself, barely hanging by a thread
- Fidel's body double
- Fidel's roboticized carcass
When do you think Raul will announce Fidel Castro's death?
- This fall, around the time of our elections
- Christmastime, as a gift to Miami--and the world
- In January--to "celebrate" the anniversary of the accursed revolution
- This summer
Who do you think Fidel wants to win our presidential election?
- Barack Obama
- Hillary Clinton
- John McCain
- Ralph Nader
With Cubans now able to buy microwaves, cellphones and hotel room stays (never mind they barely make enough to buy their next meals), what will Raul Castro "let" Cubans buy next?
- Fidel's picture--on toilet paper
- A car manufactured in this millenium
- One-way plane tickets to the U.S.
- Their freedom
- Boats
- Che Guevara's picture--on a dartboard
Now that Fidel Castro is (officially, anyway) no longer in charge in Cuba, what do you think will change?
- Absolutely nothing.
- Just cosmetics: a few minor, token changes designed specifically to dupe the West into thinking Cubans will be better off under Raul.
- Cuba will move to the China or Vietnam model.
- Cuba will be (snicker, snicker) free.
If you could've voted in Cuba's elections last month, who would you have voted for President of Cuba?
- Dr. Oscar Elias Biscet
- Martha Beatriz Roque
- Armando Valladares
- Oswaldo José Payá Sardiñas
- Elizardo Sanchez
- Juan Carlos Gonzalez Leiva
- Vladimiro Roca Antuñez
- Oscar Espinosa Chepe
- Normando Hernández González
- Guillermo Fariñas
My New Year's resolution for 2008 is...
- finally celebrate a free Cuba this year
- all of the above
- lose weight
- spend more time with family
- find a new job
All I want for Christmas is...
- A free Cuba (and Venezuela)
- All of the above
- A box of fine cigars
- Time off
- Lechon, moros, turron, yuca, and family and friends
How are you going to celebrate Thanksgiving this year?
- Turkey, lechon, it doesn't matter. All I want is a champagne toast to celebrate the end of Castro.
- American style: turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie.
- Cuban-American style: a combination of both.
- Cuban style: lechon (pork), moros, yuca, flan.
What should it say on Castro's tombstone?
- Please flush after use
- Hoo boy, it is HOT in here!!!!
- Rest in pieces
- Goodbye and good riddance
- Here lies the Bearded Bastard
- History will absorb me
- Here lies the biggest liar of them all
What should Fidel Castro's tombstone be?
- A toilet (complete with toilet paper dispenser pre-loaded with issues of Granma)
- A urinal
- No tombstone for Cremation1
- An artificial anus1
- A plastic trash-bag1
- A hammer and sickle
- A hammer and "Sicko"
- A spittoon
Finish this sentence: A year without Fidel Castro is like a year without...
- What's the difference? As long as his brother Raul is there, nothing will change.
- All of the above.
- hemorroids1
- ...Satan.
- ...one of the world's worst dictators.
- ...Stalin.
- ...darkness.
- a noose around your neck1
- bitchs n ho's1
- Aquafina..cause you'll just grab a Zepher Hills (dictator) and the water (Cuba) will still the same.1
- hemorrhoids1
- without boat-pepole1
- shackles1
Why won't Castro die already?
- Who are you kidding, he's BEEN dead for years!
- Pure evil doesn't die unless you drive a wooden stake through its tiny heart
- Weeds don't die easy
- He is the personification of Satan on earth
- He is the personification of some serious karmic punishment for Cuba
What should next month's (July's) poll question be?
- When will Castro die already?
- WHY won't Castro die already?
- Who cares about Castro, it's summer!
- He has been dead for a year1
- How will Castro die?
- Where will Castro die?
Why did Fidel Castro miss May Day this year?
- The formaldehyde is wearing off and Castro's carcass is beginning to decompose.
- Hugo Chavez wasn't up to the task of putting his hand up Fidel's wazoo and speaking without moving his lips.
- He was too embarrassed to go out in public after wiping his artificial anus with Sheryl Crowe's new one-sheet toilet paper.
- Castro's body is cryogenically frozen .and stored next to Walt Disney's.
When will Castro die?
- He's already dead, they're just doing a "Weekend at Bernie's" with his carcass
- Not soon enough!1
- This decade (by Dec. 31, 2009)
- This year (by Dec. 31, 2007)
- This month (April 2007)
How will Castro die?
- No form of death is good enough for this SOB
- Of natural causes
- Fecal poisoning
- He's already been dead for the last 6 months.1
- Of, ahem, "food" poisoning ;-)
- The Grim Reaper will simply decide the Cuban people have had enough and will come to take him away
- Of, ahem, "natural" causes ;-)
- Of food poisoning
- By sniper
- Old age
- Other assassination attempt
How are you going to celebrate when Castro dies?
- The heck with a mixed drink, I'm drinking the Bacardi straight from the bottle
- Drive down Calle Ocho in Little Havana or 49th Street in Hialeah, honking my horn like crazy
- Celebrate quietly with friends and loved ones
- Make myself a Cuba Libre with Bacardi and call it a "Verdadita"
- Dress in black and mourn because I'm a Useful Idiot
- Asar un lechon en una caja China
- Burn Castro in effigy
