Raul beats his brother Fidel

Too bad it wasn’t with a two-by-four:

Fidel Castro, who has not appeared in public since he was sidelined by stomach surgery 18 months ago, got 98.3 percent of the votes cast in the district he represents in Santiago, Cuba’s second city.

But acting President Raul Castro won 99.4 percent of the ballots cast in his district in the same eastern province. It was the highest percentage in the country.

Or a crowbar.


Batista items going up for auction

FWIW, a dumpster diver found a bunch of Fulgencio Batista’s–the guy in charge in Cuba before Castro took over–old stuff in a Palm Beach dumpster some years ago. The dumpster just so happened to be located near the family’s office there.

Batista left Cuba for Spain after Castro took over in 1959. Can’t say that I blame him: no doubt the Castroites would given him the old Ceaucescu treatment. As bad as Batista was I don’t think he would’ve deserved to be treated like Ceaucescu was. If anyone deserves it, it’s Castro.

Anyway, whether you like Batista or not, no doubt at least some of these items are of interest to Cuban history buffs. According to the Palm Beach Post:

There were love letters to his wife, Martha, X-rays of Batista’s skull and foot, canceled checks, Cuban Senate records and letters from historic figures.

Bob Calvert, the guy who found these items, plans to put them up for sale on E-Bay. I like his response when some parrot from Granma asked Calvert for some of the items:

“I told him his people already took away the man’s country,” Calvert said.

The Castro people took a country away from millions, Mr. Calvert, not just Batista.


Watch “Shootdown”

I just came back from watching the documentary Shootdown, the one about the murder of four innocent men in slow propeller planes, by Castro’s MiG jet fighters, on February 24, 1996.

Wow, what a film.

One of my favorite lines: A Cuban-American gentleman was asked by a reporter shortly after the incident took place, what he would say to Fidel Castro if Castro were right there. The response: “Drop dead.” Priceless.

The documentary is only playing in a few theaters in a few cities, so if you can watch it now, watch it. You won’t regret it.

I’ve listed the cities and theaters below the fold (click the link “Read the rest of this entry”), but that info is also available online.

Continue reading “Watch “Shootdown””


Castro Death Watch Exclusive: partial draft of Cuban ballot

Castro Death Watch has obtained a piece of a draft copy of the ballot used in Cuba’s recent “election,” below. We say a “piece” because it was smuggled out of the island nation by a desperately hungry balsero who ate a large portion of it. The remaining portion includes notes and proofreading marks from Fidel and Raul Castro, as well as voting instructions and the most important races.

C U B A N   E L E C T I O N S   2 0 0 8
INSTRUCTIONS–Follow the instructions carefully. Any deviation from these instructions will result in an act of repudiation against you or imprisonment.

  1. You can only vote for the candidates listed on this ballot. In fact, you MUST vote for the candidates listed on this ballot. No skipping any races allowed.
  2. Because of a shortage of paper and ink as a result of the illegal imperialist Yankee blockade by George W. Bush against Cuba, you must share this ballot with 1,000 other voters. That means you must all vote the same. Or else.
  3. (FC: Be sure to specify something particularly scary for the “Or else” part, like being sent to the Combinado del Este prison where prisoners subsist on a diet of one tablespoon of rice and beans daily, supplemented by all-you-can-eat “special” proteins [cockroaches, flies, maggots and rodent droppings])

  4. Because of a shortage of pens, ink and pencils as a result of the illegal imperialist Yankee blockade by George W. Bush against Cuba, you must mark your ballot with a dirt smudge, using your fingertip
  5. (RC: Fidel, this will allow us to note the fingerprints of anyone failing to follow the instructions, so we can arrest them more easily)
    (FC: Good idea, Raul. And here I had always thought
    you were the stupid one in the family!)

  6. No write-in candidates. Any attempt to write in the name of some imperialist Yankee mercenary traitor not listed on the ballot will result in a minimum ten (10) year prison sentence.
  7. Damaging this ballot in any way will result in imprisonment.
  8. Failing to vote at all will result in imprisonment.

(FC: Raul, be sure to call those useful idiots at the Carter Center so they show up in time to certify the election results.)
(RC: Should we invite Jimmy to dinner this time?)
(FC: Nah, let him offer to treat us, that way he pays for dinner.)
(RC: Great idea!)

Dictator Caudillo Tyrant Gluteus Maximus President of the Council of Ministers (FC: Very funny, Mr. ex-proofreader. Ten years at Combinado del Este prison for you for that attempt at humor!)
Choose ONE (1):

______ Fidel Castro Ruz
______ Fidel Ruz Castro
______ Zur Ortsac Ledif
______ Raul Castro
(FC: Very funny, Raul.)
(RC: Aw, come on Fidel, you promised you’d let me run for President if I stopped wearing drag in public!)
(FC: Over my dead body!)
(RC: You know that can be arranged…)
(FC: You mean the doctor that first operated on me? HA! He’s enjoying his new 6 by 6 cell right now!)

Queen Tinkerbell Princess WorstFirst Vice President of the Council of Ministers (FC: Prison for you, too, Mr. replacement proofreader. Only I am allowed to make fun of my brother!)
______ Raul Castro Ruz
______ Ruz Castro Raul
______ RuPaul Castro (FC: Funny, Raul)
(RC: Who said I was joking? You better work, work it girl…)
(FC: Keep it up and I’ll revoke that temporary power I granted you and give it to that fat slob Michael Moore instead!)

*** [A big bite-shaped piece of the draft ballot is missing here, the rest of the draft ballot continues] ***

Head Weasel Chief Ratfink Minister of Foreign Affairs
(FC: Another proofreader who thinks he’s a comedian. I’m sure you won’t find your five years in prison funny, you capitalist lackey and saboteur!)
______ Felipe Pérez Roque
______ Felipe Pérez Rockhead (FC: Raul, these proofreaders, where are they coming from? Some bourgeois comedy club? At this rate, our prisons will be the only things in Cuba that are full!)
______ Felipe Roque Pérez
______ Roque Pérez, Felipe

You have finished voting. Remember you must share this ballot with 999 other voters, thanks to the illegitimate blockade from Washington that has left the Cuban people without paper and ink. Never mind that we always find plenty of both to publish that propaganda rag, Granma.

(FC: You though we would let this one slip by, you fool? I might need someone to wipe me when I go potty, but I can still read with my own eyes!)


I like the headline…

Vote may hasten Castro reign’s end:”

‘My basic duty is not to cling to office and even less to obstruct the path of younger people, but to pass on the experiences and ideas whose modest worth stems from the exceptional era in which I have lived,” Castro said in a letter to the Cuban people in December.

This week, Castro wrote that he’s too sick to speak directly to his constituents, which further fueled speculation that one of the world’s longest-serving rulers was ready to pass on the torch.

”It’s really unheard of in the annals of history to have a temporary head of state for that long,” said Mauricio Font, who heads the Bildner Center for Western Hemisphere Studies in New York. “It’s getting to be a bit bizarre. Cuba must be a really weird place right now, because nobody really knows what’s going on.”

Cuba’s been a weird place for 48 years, Mr. Font, all because of a bearded tyrant who should’ve stopped his “cling to office” and “pass on the torch” ages ago. Ages.


Brothers to the Rescue “Shoot Down” documentary premieres

Shoot Down, the documentary on the 1996 shootdown of two unarmed Brothers to the Rescue Cessnas by Castro’s supersonic MiG fighter jets (which we blogged about back in August), premieres today to a limited, invitation-only audience in Miami. I couldn’t make it–I aggravated an already bad leg injury which I’m currently nursing at home (not to mention that my invitation came via “unofficial” channels…).

The world premiere comes next week, January 25th. It will only run in select theaters, listed below the fold. One of the more remarkable things about the film is that the director, who debuts in that role, is the niece of one of the victims of the incident. Read more about it here.

Continue reading “Brothers to the Rescue “Shoot Down” documentary premieres”


No wonder it’s been a cold winter

The world’s biggest source of hot air is cooling down:

Fidel Castro said Wednesday he is not yet healthy enough to speak to Cuba’s masses in person and can’t campaign for Sunday’s parliamentary elections.

“I am not physically able to speak directly to the citizens of the municipality where I was nominated for our elections next Sunday,” the ailing 81-year-old wrote in an essay published Wednesday by state news media.

Wow, the old gasbag is running out of gas!


Castro “playful?!?!?” WTF?!?!?

Just when I thought I’d heard it all, comes this MSM fawnfest for Castro:

Fidel Castro looked frail but alert and even playful in a series of official photographs taken during a meeting with Brazil’s president on Tuesday, the first images of the ailing Cuban leader released in about three months.

Playful?!?!? Fidel Castro PLAYFUL?!?!? WTF, is this a reference to the urban legend about Castro trying out for the Washington Senators?