Maybe Castro isn’t dead yet after all

I may have been premature when I said Castro is already dead. I mean, a dead person surely can’t be so delusional as to believe the 9/11 conspiracy theories, or this:

Fidel Castro claims Cuba’s government saved the life of President Reagan by giving American officials information about an assassination plot in 1984.

The essay published Wednesday in the Communist Party newspaper Granma appeared to be the first time Cuba has made the claim. It seemed aimed at showing Cuba has cooperated with the United States in the past.

Castro, who has not appeared in public for more than a year, wrote that a Cuban security official stationed at the United Nations told the then U.S. mission security chief about an extreme right-wing group that was planning to kill Reagan during a trip to North Carolina. He did not say how Cuba obtained the information.

A right-wing group was going to kill Reagan? Sure, Fidel, sure. This “article” did inspire me to create a list of other events and things the delusional dictator Castro is bound to take credit for now in his doddering old age:

  • Keeping the U.S. free of terror attacks after 9/11
  • Saving President Clinton from assassination by a left-wing group
  • Convincing the Chinese to stop using lead paint on toys
  • Keeping the Minnesota bridge incident from being worse than it could’ve been
  • Saving us from a John Kerry presidency

Add your own ideas by posting a comment to this post.