So says his parrot, Felipe Perez Roque. The fact that Castro’s lackeys have to deny his death tells me he’s probably already roasting at very high temperatures.

In any event, Perez Rockhead’s “Castro ‘is fine’” comment has inspired me to write the following song parody, based on the Beatles’ “I Feel Fine.” Imagine Perez Rockhead serenading Fifo’s corpse with it…

Fifo’s one dead duck, you know,
He’s stiff as a board can be, you know,
The doctor said so.
Even though he’s dead, I must say he’s fine.
Fifo’s carcass is embalmed, you know,
Saw it myself one time, you know,
And I cried so.
Even though he’s gone, I say he’s fine.
I’m so sad, his corpse is getting cold.
I’m lying to everyone, saying he’s fine to all the world.
Because Fifo’s really kaput, you know.
He flatlined a real long time ago,
Raul said so.
Fifo is worm food but I said he’s fine.
Fifo’s pushing up daisies, so never mind.
Fifo’s room temperature, but I said he’s fine, mmm.

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Before today, I’d never heard of the artist Victor Huerta Batista, who is based in Cuba. But I like the theme of some of his work, as it reflects the reality of Castro’s Cuba:

In Huerta’s “rampant imaginative world”–as (University of Arizona Museum of Art) curator Lisa Fischman calls it–the whole population of Cuba seems hell-bent on escape, flying pell-mell toward the sea, using every possible means of transportation. A Cuban painter virtually unknown to American audiences, Huerta has filled one small room of the museum with his fantastic visions.

Born in 1972, Huerta grew up in Castro’s Cuba. (Fun fact: The dictator Castro deposed was named Batista, Huerta’s other last name.) And while the painter’s work is not overtly political in the sense that it’s not filled with painted slogans and caricatures, it’s hard not to see the critique in what Fischman calls his “fantasies of escape.” From the makeshift rafts that ordinary Cubans devise to sail to the United States, it’s a short leap to Huerta’s creaky painted flotilla.

Even though I haven’t seen his art, I already like his painting “La barca Habana” (The Havana Boat):

Throw your whole damn city–in this case, Havana–into a giant ship. Include the old cathedral, some grass-thatched cottages and palm trees. String some sunshades across the deck, and set up electric fans to blow the vessel out to sea.

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then you KNOW you did a good thing:

Cuba branded Hungary an “imperial accomplice” of Washington on Wednesday for granting political asylum to 29 Cubans who were held at the Guantanamo Bay U.S. naval base.

Those given Hungarian visas were among 44 Cubans picked up at sea by the U.S. Coast Guard. Authorities deemed them at risk of persecution if repatriated and held the group at the U.S. base while officials sought a third country to take them.

Many were dissidents, and some were at the base more than two years.

The Cubans at the Guantanamo base included 17 who staged a hunger strike to protest conditions, but it ended August 17 when Hungary announced it would take 29 migrants.

A third country was expected to take seven more, and five others were approved to go to the United States. One chose to return to Cuba for family reasons, and the status of a couple who were offered Hungarian visas but apparently refused them was unclear.

Too effing bad, Castro. Screw you and the horse/hearse you’re riding in if you don’t like it.

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Venezuela’s rubber-stamp congress moved closer to allowing Fidel Castro’s parrot, Hugo Chavez, to become dictator for life (or for a very long time at least). They gave the initial thumbs up to a series of so-called “reforms” that would allow Mini-Me, er, Chavez, to stay in office for a seven-year term rather than the current six years. Additionally, Chavez’s peanut gallery dropped presidential term limits.

The measures await final approval in about two to three months, then must be approved by simple majority via national referendum. But of course, we know how ethical Venezuelan elections have been since Chavez, ahem, defeated a recall measure.

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Of course, when you’re talking about Fidel Castro’s Cuba, being “freed” from prison is a relative term. After all, Cuba under the Castro brothers is nothing but a huge, open-air prison.

But I digress.

According to the Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ), independent Cuban journalist Armando Betancourt Reina was released Monday. He’d been imprisoned in Cerámica Roja Prison in Camagüey since May of last year.

This is great news. But it’s tempered by the following statement by CPJ Executive Director Joel Simon:

“…We reiterate our calls for Cuban authorities to immediately release the other 24 journalists unjustly imprisoned today in Cuba for expressing their views.”

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Obama, Obama, Obama. It takes more than a speech in Little Havana to endear yourself to Cuban-Americans. You’re already starting out with a handicap: you belong to the wrong political party. And now this?

”We regret that Sen. Obama has been so ill-advised as to assume that lifting sanctions against Cuba’s dictatorial regime will bring about change,” read a statement issued by the non-partisan Cuban Liberty Council. “It is sad that he does not apply the same principles used to bring about change in South Africa where blacks were victims of the same apartheid as Cubans on the island.”

He should listen to someone who knows what he’s talking about:

Dario Moreno, a Florida International University political science professor, said Obama’s position could cost him some votes.

”He’s appealing to the most progressive element of his party, and I think what he’s underestimating is the large number of Hispanics in Miami-Dade that he could alienate himself from,” Moreno said.

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Don’t forget to take the August poll. The poll question is…

Finish this sentence: A year without Fidel Castro is like a year without…

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Lots of rumors floating around that Fidel Castro is finally dead.

As long as I can remember, there have been rumors of Castro’s death, which have always turned out to be false, sadly. So there’s an element of the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” here. But given the old fart’s age and health, the likelihood of his death seems greater this time around. Heck, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Stay tuned to Castro Death Watch for updates…

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Aug 202007

The five CONVICTED (that’s right, CONVICTED) spies Castro sent to the U.S. (disclaimer: link goes to a website I own) are appealing their prison sentences.

Why?

Because, {sniff, sniff} they say their sentences are {whine, whine} too long:

Almost nine years after their arrest, five Cubans convicted of spying on the U.S. government and South Florida exile groups will appeal Monday to judges in Atlanta, arguing that their sentences are excessive and they should be free.

Awwwwwwwwww, poor little babies. I say we should give them the same type of, ahem, “justice” Castro would give a convicted spy: a bullet to the back of the head.

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Now that I’m married to a Jamaican-British beauty, I’m taking a greater interest in happenings on the island.

So I’d like to take this opportunity to ask you to help those harmed by Hurricane Dean. If you live in South Florida, you can drop off non-perishable (canned) food, batteries, flashlights, bottled water and other items at one of the places listed on Channel 7′s website.

If you live outside the area, or prefer to donate cash, please write a check payable to the Jamaica Consulate General (Hurricane Relief) and mail it to their office at 25 SE Second Ave., Suite 609, Miami, FL, 33131.

Thanks. I’ll be posting more updated relief/donation info this evening or tomorrow morning.

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