Fidel Castro dies

Ah, if only it were true. It seems a water enthusiast magazine called “Wave” has published an article titled “Fidel Dies!” as a joke, for their March issue:

The most infamous dictator in the world has finally died. It seems he was human after all. His resume is perhaps one of the most concise in the world. After all, for the past four-and-a-half decades, he’s helmed the Caribbean’s most intriguing island. But now, one of the world’s longest-ruling despots has died and change is already afoot.

Since word of the dictator’s death spread, the influx of Cuban migrants on watercraft to the U.S. is unprecedented, but Miami has been preparing for the arrivals since 1960, accommodating the migrants into the thousands of empty luxury hi-rises in and around the city. Within hours of Castro’s death, Cubans started arriving in the U.S., the embargo dropped and the U.S. quickly assumed power of the island nation by taking over Radio Marti and the Bacardi rum factory.

Before Castro’s body even had time to be incinerated, Cubans who immigrated to the U.S. decades ago were already returning to the island to take back their homes. The future of the island looks bright for the first time in almost half a century, in part because many cans of paint came with the returning flotilla…

Um, guys, first of all, the U.S. government is already in charge of Radio Marti. And second of all, a gag like this would’ve gone over a little better in your April issue instead.

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